Creating a Balance between Fatherhood and work in Lock-down
Dads who work from home share their experience in times of Covid-19
For me, working from home is such an amazing adventure;
I say this because it is the first time that I’m experiencing it in my entire
career.... says a dad.
The Question
Most people believe that fatherhood or parenting is
one of the most beautiful phases a man goes through in his life; we can see
this at home or with fathers who keep guard on their kids in a public place.
This time around, we now have them steady at home with the kids, and interestingly,
one question that pops up is how they create a balance between parenting and
work? Luckily, some fathers have volunteered to share their personal experience on
working remotely; family bonding, and also tips for dads.
You may also like - Lemonade: Working and Loving it!
Fatherhood or Parenting
On the one hand, although it seems we have a long time
cultural expectation for women to take the leading role in parenting, the part
a father plays in a child’s life could be said to have become less and less
pronounced that in most cases, it simply boils down to finances. On the other
hand, one cannot entirely strike out the fact that most fathers play major
roles in the lives of their kids not even close to mothers in many homes; obviously,
not much attention has been given to this discourse. As a result, this article is bent on discussing this to a reasonable extent.
You may also want to read - This Pain in my Body
21st Century Parenting
Modern parenting to a clear extent has changed the
above perception but it seems not to be enough. Today, most couples share
responsibilities other than finances in the likes of babysitting, school runs, and
others. Also, with the advent of many fathers quitting office practice and
turning entrepreneurs, it becomes a good opportunity to having close contact
with their kids. The most pronounced is the advent of Covid -19, and the reality
of a mandatory work-from-home order. In some cases, mothers still leave the house
daily due to the nature of work, and fathers are the ones who take charge.
A
Practical View to Daddy Duties
The plan for this project started early last year when
the lock-down was announced. Most of the meetings I attended had dads prepping
food, cleaning up, doing school runs, or just assisting kids with homework.
Honestly, I was thrilled at such hands-on fathers. I felt the need to capture some of these in writing and bring to light the fact that many fathers are truly
committed to work-life balance, and through their personal experience, the
stereotype of our society could be faulted. As such, I sent the proposal to
some fathers, and surprisingly, I got interesting responses despite their busy
schedules. Without further ado, let’s take a brief step into the lives of these
remote working dads and see the feeling behind working from home, the lesson
learned, the influence of lock-down on family, and tips for fathers.
You may also like - Silhouette: Living above Societal Stereotype
Dad so Amazing
The Experience
For me, working from home is such an amazing adventure.
I say this because it’s the first time that I’m experiencing it in my entire
career. The first week, I almost turned hysterical due to some little changes like
distractions from my kids, frustration due to lack of online connectivity,
getting feedback from my colleagues, and issues with relevant applications; after
a while, everything became stable. Back then, it was as though the heavens
descended on my head, lol! So far so good, I have been enjoying the opportunity
to work remotely; this has allowed me to work diligently; guide my kids
alright; support my wife, and look healthier unlike then when I spend half of
my day in Lagos traffic.
Daddy Duties
Parenting has always been part of me even before working from home but during this period I got to understand some basic things about fatherhood: previously, I must have gone to work even before they wake up in the morning but my kids were surprised to see me at home when they woke up for the first time in their entire life. The first and second week was all fighting and getting to understand one another better because they act in some ways which I don't like or understand the reason why they may have reacted in such a manner but after a while, I had to study them to understand their demands and reason why they act or react to some things the way they do. Along the line, my kids and I became best of friends because they see me every day: I take care of them whenever my wife leaves to attend to her business; they are always with me when they come back from school, and they even care more about me as I do too.
Relationship with Kids
The Lock-down has really helped us relate in an informed
manner.; I think the experience they have with their mom is quite different
from mine. Apart from cooking for them and taking care of their daily needs, I
take out time to tutor them despite they have a lesson teacher, and I work on
their pronunciation. Sometimes I take them out for fun to have a better life
experience. Now, I realize that they even prefer I take them to school and back
instead of their mum. They are really having an amazing time with daddy which
has built a better relationship among us.
Read - Four Main Strategies to Being that World Best Boss or Employee
Tips for Daddies
To all daddies out there, play your part in the lives of your kids, and don’t leave everything to your wife. Sometimes, relating with you may be more convenient for your kids instead of their mum. In addition, always support and care for your wife because these kids learn from what they see you do. Coming together to take care of our kids should be our priority because two heads are better than one.
The New Dad
The First Few Weeks
Right into the first few weeks, it was as if we would be back to the office because it was not easy working from home: the experience of not going out and staying indoor was too weird for me as a new dad. I work with an eight-month-old baby constantly calling my attention for her bottle: I always have her on my shoulder, lap, or in one hand during my zoom meetings. At times, I have to stand up with her for minutes unending because, at such tender age, they are quite sensitive. Initially, I didn’t know how to cope because I had to take care of my daughter while her mother slept, and the whole parenting mood was too new to me. Due to the kind of job I do, I work late into the night, and staying awake in the day became a big burden but with time, I learned to adjust and align my work and time around her. When she slept, I tried to get some rest and work done in-between, and when she was awake, I tended to her while I worked. So far, it has become a pretty interesting experience for me.
Foster a Bond
The remote work has created a bond between my child and I. It is quite funny that she prefers to sleep in my arms than her bed, and whenever I come to pick her up from the bed, she smiles and activates her playful mood. Honestly, I am happy because I have learned the changing, feeding, and other activities surrounding raising a child that I can do most with my eyes closed. Also, with time, I am teaching her to be more independent; I let our daughter play out her time while in bed with toys while I work on my system.
Read - Frank Thoughts: Don’t Just Work Hard Work Smart
Early to Work
Before the pandemic, I leave quite early for work and only called to check up on my wife and kid but now it is quite different because I am the one who is mostly in charge around the house. I already mapped out a work plan for our home and it really works out well for all of us.
How to do-Dad
Plan your
day intentionally; try to create time for your kids, and spend time with them
to know how to take care of their needs. From research, I learned that kids
only build a character around what they see or feel around them, and the best
person to assist is that parent they see regularly. Sensitivity is key with
kids, and as fathers or parents, we must watch them closely. Also, try as much
as possible to be their best friend right from birth.
The Cool Dad
I am simply
that cool dad everyone wants at home, lol! In terms of difficulty in parenting,
I have none because I am a hands-on dad: even when they were born two weeks in;
I used to bathe them. Equally, babysitting is no biggy for me since I am quite
close to my kids, and they are not really scared of me. Although the
announcement came as a surprise, it made me absolutely happy because I knew it
was one thing I craved: to spend quality time with my family and most especially to bond with my last kid. He was born when work demand was at its peak but
luckily, we really got around to knowing each other the more during the
lock-down. Immediately we started working remotely, I took charge of everything
around the house while my wife went on a long break. Also, to checkmate my work-life
balance and sedentary lifestyle, I always break from work for school runs.
New Learning to Fatherhood
Although I am a capable hand around the home and around my kids, the fact still remains that it has been a period of learning and unlearning diverse traits that come with children and parenting.
Ties
Apart from the close relationship I now have with my last kid, generally, nothing really changed in terms of how I relate with the rest.
Tips for Daddies
One thing is for sure, what works for one may not work for another so everyone must strike a balance with their kids. The principal advice is to avoid the overindulgence of kids and make it clear that there is a price for mischief. Through all these, I believe everyone would be on the same level of understanding with little or no stress.
Wow! What an experience we have gathered from these wonderful dads! We hope you enjoyed this ride! Kindly leave a comment and share.
interesting 🤨
ReplyDelete